precious

I've been thinking a lot lately about the precious nature of everything. The fact that I got dumped this week, has only added to that. April is a hard month for me...lots of reminders for me about relationships that have ended.

I went to therapy today. The first time in many, many months that I've been to therapy. I'm seeing someone 'new', and I'm not sure if I like her. I don't know if I want to go back. I got a few good weepy moments in there, some tender spots exposed that I didn't even know existed, some homework to do. Ok, ok, I'm going back. I'm going to explore those soft, squishy spots that don't want to be poked, and I'll poke them. Stupid, precious looking at one's self.

I've been avoiding meditation. I've been avoiding the gym. I'm barely eating, and I'm not sleeping much. Heartache and grieving are such strange things.

Being in relationship is precious. Having an opportunity to learn to be OK alone is also a precious opportunity. I'm really trying to be grateful for now. I'm trying hard. I really liked 'then' and 'we'. bleah. this must be awfully boring to read.