just SOME blog

Oh my, is it the end of April all ready? What in the world has happened to me this month?!

I have been in a newish relationship and have been enjoying squeezing out little tiny bits of time to see my new boyfriend (swoons and giggles)

I spent 10 days house/cat sitting in a place with no internet access

I got sick and missed 4 days of work (2 of those days were a Saturday/Sunday)

I had work-related stuff to do every weekend this month (except the weekend I got sick)

I have been doing martial arts class on Tuesday nights, pottery on Wednesday nights, work on the weekends and most other evenings have had some other scheduled thingy or another

I have finally, FINALLY found renters for my house. These folks don't move in until June 1, but I've spent HOURS and hours and hours interfacing with potential tenants.

I am 2 weeks away from the end of the semester...and I'm loving being busy, and it is making me a little crazycakes, too.

Tonight I met up with my friend, Angelo, and we had milkshakes for dinner. We decided to embark on a new project for the summer. This will be the Summer Of Milkshake Evaluation (SOME). This milkshake evaluation project will get its own blog, "Just SOME Blog". There will be milkshake ratings and reviews, and we will find the best milkshakes in Boulder. Oh, yes!

accidental naps and food cravings

I took an accidental nap tonight. I was on the couch reading. I was between dinner courses. And by that I mean I got home from work, was ever so slightly hungry so I grabbed a couple hard-boiled eggs and turned them into deviled eggs, sat on the couch and started reading my book while snacking on deviled eggs.

And then somehow I was laying down with a blanket on me, book on my chin, and an empty egg-plate on the TV-tray. And it was 8:30pm. How was it more than 2 hours later?! And I was a little hungry. So I made popcorn. I think popcorn for dinner is a delightful thing. And yet, I'm hungry again. Sigh.

I have a fear that I'll be awake until 3am pacing around like a hungry ghost trying to find the next perfect snackeroo to put in my mouth. Ha Loo? Snackaroo? Too bad there isn't a tub of ginger icecream in my freezer...now that would be the next perfect thing. I think I need to make pudding now. But not the pudding that the Food Whore found in the grocery.

And tomorrow is going to be a long day that will include an hour in the office, a trip to the Longmont house, a few hours back in the office doing madcrazy prep for the Saturday work meeting, another trip to the Longmont house, a quick bite to eat while on the road between the Longmont house and her massage appointment in Erie, and hopefully not falling asleep on the massage table.

Well, perhaps starting pudding after 10pm is a silly endeavor. It certainly won't be chilled and yummy until the morning. Hm...breakfast pudding...Snackaroo? Ha Loo?

pumpkin and pottery

This has been the week of pumpkins and pottery and planning, Oh MY!

After a month of working 50+ hour work weeks, I finally slowed down. We didn't have Monday off, so I took Wednesday as a day for me and my own sanity. Somehow, the idea of taking Wednesday off turned Tuesday night into a cooking frenzy night. I had a bit of a sniffle and skipped out on the martial arts class I was planning to attend. My friend is teaching it and he gave me plenty of teasing for wanting a night on the couch instead of a night of getting bopped in the forehead with his index finger.

I'm not even really sure how the cooking frenzy got initiated, but I suddenly found myself cutting open the 8 pound pumpkin that had been hanging out on the kitchen counter since October. The pumpkin that never got carved for Halloween, that never got carved for Christmas, Jess' birthday pumpkin that never was, the Happy 2009 Pumpkin that didn't, the Valentines Day Pumpkin that wasn't loved into a heart-shaped jack-o-lantern suddenly became meals and meals and meals. I roasted pumpkin seeds, I made my pumpkin-chickpea curry recipe, I made pumpkin nut bread, and I still have a lot of pumpkin hanging out in the fridge waiting to become pumpkin fritters and other culinary delights. Oh pumpkin, how I adore you, how you fill my belly.

Wednesday I met up with one of my new pottery friends and spent 3 hours in the pottery lab and it seems something has clicked into place and I made attractive pottery! I'm really excited and proud of the fact that I have finally made some pottery that looks like something other than a cross between a candy dish and an ashtray. There are photos here if you want to check it out and give me positive reinforcement by telling me how awesome I am since I've been doing this for only 6 weeks!

Oh and the planning! Next weekend is my big event. I'm the co-chair for a fundraiser event for the non-profit, independent high school where I volunteer. The event has a Friday night talk and a Saturday morning workshop. It is starting to feel less like volunteer and more like un-paid part-time job, but that's probably because there is still SO much to do! And I've got to update the school's website and email the volunteers and on and on. So much planning for this, but I'm glad it is happening and will provide some good resources for people in the community. I've also been making tons of plans for the weekend...pottery lab on the weekend, brunch with a friend, a resume-help session with another, dinner with another friend, and when am I getting caught up on Battlestar and Dollhouse and laundry?!

Maybe I need to make some pumpkin ice cream, or maybe ferment the pumpkin and make some kind of alcohol. Or a pumpkin facial cream? Hm...so many options for so much pumpkin!

indulge

So one of the perks of being single and living alone is having a day like I did yesterday. I slept in until 8:30, I flipped the cheese that was pressing on the cheese press, I ate breakfast while watching (crappy) saturday morning cartoons, I took a detox bath while drinking tea, I did some picking up around the house, I knit, did some more cheese stuff, I drove out to Miss J's house to pick up her kitties, I ate, I snuggled with kitties, I started watching a bollywood movie and fell asleep on the couch before it ended and picked myself up and went to bed with more kitty snuggling.

Not a bad Saturday, really.

Today I woke up early with one kitty tapdancing on my head at 6:30 and the other tapdancing on my nightstand kicking off all the loose objects to get my attention at they thudded to the floor (my glasses, my cell phone, my watch). Ok, ok, I'm AWAKE! You kitties aren't starving...I know yesterday you broke into the food and had a little party before I caught you and I still fed you the regular amount just in case. Seriously.

I'm having a kitty sleepover because Miss J was at a wedding yesterday evening...I'm curious to hear how it went. After a very inward day yesterday, I'm really excited about doing stuff today, being active, maybe going on a hike if it warms up.

I am very excited because I'm in the midst of a cheddar experiment. Cheddar started on Friday night, continued yesterday, and will likely continue for a few more days. At this point my cheddars are air drying on a wooden board in The Room No Kitty Shall Enter. There are two cheddars because this recipe made WAY more cheese than can fit in my press. I tried really hard to shove it all in and eventually gave up. Big Cheddar is the batch that got pressed with as much curd as I could reasonably fit in the press. Little Cheddar got pressed in a colander under a gallon jug of water while Big was pressing. They have to dry 2-4 days until the surface is dry and a nice rind has developed. Then they'll get coated in cheese wax and set in the fridge to age until Thanksgiving when the make the trip to St. Louis with me. This cheddar is exciting, but I have to wait for SO LONG! I may have to make some other cheese today that I can eat now.

Well, it is 7:30, so time to eat breakfast!

food foodie food food

Lunch from OUTERSPACE time? You betcha. Today I had the magic lunch. The bag of lunch that just kept on giving. My silly cooler full of small foods. Lunch today was during a meeting. And each little yum was pulled out and consumed one at a time. I felt like a magician...pull out one object; munchmunchmunch; pull out next object; munchmunchmunch, etc. I was a lunch magician from OUT-ER-SPAAAACE!

Course Number 1: Cheese sandwich (you wanna read about my amazing cheese sandwiches? See this.)
Course Number 2: Pomegranate/Blueberry yogurt
Course Number 3: One hardboiled egg
Course Number 4: Plantain Chips
Course Number 5: a Granny Smith Apple (colorado grown!)
Course Number 6: a single espresso shot americano with a bit of half-and-half, a squirt of honey, and a sprinkle of cardamom (ok, so this didn't come out of the lunch bag, but I have 4 hours of meetings with a 15 minute break halfway through, and a brisk walk to the coffee shop across the parking lot is so worth it!)

Food food foodie food food. Happy mouth, happy belly.

Neurotic un-pre-travel freakout

I've written before about one of my long-standing neuroses, the pre-travel freakout. Well, I discovered this evening that the pre-travel freakout is not actually limited to pre-travel preparations. The pre-travel freakout usually involves frantically running errands that could easily be done post-travel. The pre-travel freakout usually also involves buying things that are, well, not always necessary.

The pre-travel freakout manifested itself in full force this evening. I'm not traveling anywhere, but tomorrow I'm going to be an election judge for Boulder County. I need to arrive at my precinct at 5:30am and I won't be able to leave the entire day. I'll likely get done on the early side at 9pm, but could be there as late as midnight. Today I ran all around after work running errands and buying snacks. I went to the bank, I went to the Indian Grocery and got movies and snacks, I went to Bed Bath Beyond and got a pepper grinder and a frying pan, I went to Safeway and bought a bunch more snacks...well, actually, a lot more than snacks: a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs, a box of cookies, a box of crackers, a box of cheddar bunnies, granola bars, 4 yogurts, 2 bottles of juice, frozen fish sticks, spaghetti, and a jar of mayo. I've hard-boiled eggs, made sandwiches, packed a bag with all the non-refrigerated stuff in a bag, packed all the refrigerated stuff in a cooler bag in the fridge, packed 2 water bottles, and next on my list is pulling together packets of tea and my knitting and some books in another bag. I still need to review my Election Judge training manual, find my calculator, and figure out what I'm wearing tomorrow. I expect my brain won't be functioning too well tomorrow morning at 4am, so I'm trying to take care of as much as I can tonight.

Oh, pre-travel freakout...you'll be one of the things that helps me get into heaven.

Rah-roo? Getting into heaven? Well, my friend Miss J has come up with a fun and faboo new game of asking people what uniquely identifies them. The question really is more like: when they're in line to get into Heaven, what are the things that are really special about YOU that will help the Heavenly TSA identify you since they don't take government issued IDs. (This is not exactly the way she's been phrasing the question, but my own way of asking for the same info).

I've figured out a few of the items that will help the ID checkers figure out they should let me in those pearly gates:
-I use my really good spacial awareness skills to most efficiently load dishwashers
-I love learning languages (French, Spanish, Greek, Hebrew, Hindi), and while I get good at them while I'm actively using them, they disappear out of my brain-hole when I don't use them
-cheese cheesy cheese cheese
-I really like to power-nap under laundry that is warm from the dryer
-my pre-travel freakout is such a cute habit ;)

So with that, I'm off to finish packing my 3rd bag (yes, it seems I have 3 bags to take with me tomorrow!). I'm excited for Tuesday, November 4, 2008...a Day for Democracy.

Foodie Heaven

on Friday night I had a conversation with the KittyMama about lots of things and conversation meandered (as conversations do) to versions of what heaven could be like. She described to me a version that she read about in a book that involved eating.

well, let me tell you, this weekend I've gone to visit foodie heaven. Foodie heaven is a place where I make cheese.

Yes indeedio, I made cheese! I started the cheese on Friday night: 1 gallon milk heated to 86degrees then taken off heat, add 1 packet mesophilic starter, add 1 teaspoon of diluted veg. rennet (2drops in 1/3 cup distilled water), cover let sit 12 hours. In the morning it looked and smelled like yogurt, just like my cheese book said it would! I then poured the curd into my butter muslin (better stuff than cheesecloth), created the most faboo contraption for hanging my cheese, and let it drip, drip, drip for about 8 hours. I then split it in half. One half got salted, the other half got salted and garlic-herbed (parsley, chives, 1 clove garlic, black pepper). The plain salted was nice, but the herb cheese was amazing. heaven. and did I mention I made cheese!

Foodie heaven is a place where I make French Potato Salad with Horseradish Mustard and Fines Herbes and Creamy Dill Cucumber Salad (recipes below).

Foodie heaven is a place where I plan to grill and when I go outside to clean the grill I discover wasps in my grill. Yes, wasps. Ok, so maybe this isn't so much heaven. Sigh. I did successfully knock down the smaller nest that was inside the grill lid, but couldn't get to the really big nest that was on the under-side of the grill. Unfortunately, I will have to use yucky chemicals to send those wasps to waspy heaven.

Foodie heaven is a place where my friends come over (and bring a wasp-free grill!), we stuff our faces with cheese, we grill our BYO-protein, we eat corn on the cob and green beans and potato salad. We forget that the cucumber salad is in the fridge(!) and we don't have room for dessert. Oh, grilled peaches over ice cream...you will be in my belly some day!

Foodie heaven is a place where we talk and talk and talk. We talk about politics and the upcoming primaries and local politicians and national politics and international politics. We talk about our days adventures (hiking a Thirteener! a 15-mile run! making cheese!). We talk about music and tell stories and laugh and laugh. Foodie heaven is a place where I catch myself just sitting back listening to the talk and beaming at how beautiful and perfect everything is. Foodie heaven is a place where we all sit on the ground on the patio after dinner and keep talking until our butts hurt from the concrete and we decide to move inside and watch a movie. And Foodie Heaven is the place where my belly and my heart are so full and so happy that I fall asleep on the couch surrounded by my friends before the movie ends.

And the recipes:
French Potato Salad with Horseradish Mustard and Fines Herbes (a recipe slightly adapted from Cooks Illustrated
2 pounds red skinned potatoes, unpeeled, scrubbed, cut into 1/4-inch thick slices
2 Tablespoons salt
1 medium clove garlic, peeled, threaded on a skewer
¼ cup olive oil
1-1/2 Tablespoons wine vinegar
2 teaspoons dijon mustard (I had no dijon on hand, so I used my Annie's Organic Horseradish Mustard)
½ teaspoon ground black pepper
1 Tablespoon minced fresh parsley
1 Tablespoon minced fresh chives
1 teaspoon minced fresh tarragon leaves (this could be omitted)

Directions:
1.Place potatoes, 6 cups cold water and salt in large cooking pot. Bring to boil over high heat, then reduce to medium.
2.Lower the skewered garlic into the simmering water and partially blanch (45seconds to a minute). Immediately run cold water over the garlic to stop cooking; remove garlic from skewer and set aside.
3.Continue to simmer potatoes, uncovered, until tender but still firm (thin-bladed paring knife can be slipped into and out of center of potato slice with no resistance), about 5 minutes.
4.Drain potatoes, reserving ¼ cup cooking water.
5.Arrange hot potatoes close together in a single layer on a rimmed baking sheet or in a baking pan. A cookie sheet with a rim or a pyrex 9x13 is good for this.
6.Press garlic through a garlic press or mince by hand. Whisk garlic, reserved potato cooking water, oil, vinegar, mustard and pepper in a small bowl until combined. Drizzle dressing over warm potatoes. Let stand 10 minutes. (At this point, the potato salad can be put in the fridge to hold for later. Bring the salad back to room temperature before next step.)
7.Toss herbs in small bowl. Transfer potatoes to large bowl, add herbs and mix gently. Serve immediately.

Creamy Dill Cucumber Salad
3 medium cucumbers (8 oz. each), peeled, halved lengthwise, and sliced ¼ inch thick
½ medium red onion, sliced very thin
1 cup sour cream
¼ cup minced fresh dill
3 tablespoons cider vinegar
1 teaspoon sugar
ground black pepper

1.Toss cucumbers & onions with 1 tablespoon salt in a strainer or colander set over a bowl; weight with water-filled 1-gallon zipper-lock bag, sealed tight.
2.Drain cucumbers at least 1 hour or up to 3 hours. They'll stop releasing liquid after 3 hours, so it won't hurt them to sit longer, but it won't add any more crunch.
3.Whisk sour cream, dill, vinegar, sugar, and pepper in a bowl. Add cucumbers and onions; toss to coat. Serve chilled, adjusting seasoning if necessary.

hello, Steve!

So what can I say about Steve. Steve is beautiful, Steve smells amazing, Steve makes me smile. Steve has fuzzy parts and round parts and tasty parts. Steve is my cherry tomato plant. And Steve is all the little cherry tomatoes on the plant. Ok, Jennie's lost it, you must be thinking. Yes, perhaps she has. Especially since she's referring to herself in the third person.

But back to Steve. Steve? Yes, I had a little bit of crazy and back in May when Steve started producing baby Steves, I mentioned that I wasn't going to get too attached and name each individual tomato. Not too long after that, my friend Ms. J was over and I was showing off my little tomatoes and she called them all Steve. And well, it has stuck. In my mind that particular plant and all the tomatoes on the plant are all Steve. My roma tomato plant doesn't have a name, the strawberry plants don't have names, the eggplant doesn't have a name, etc. But Steve. Well, there he is.

And when I came home, I photographed the beauty that is Steve, picked my first baby Steve, took photos of baby Steve, showed off baby Steve to Witchy who promptly decided she needed to eat baby Steve, photographed Witchy and baby Steve, and then, finally, ate baby Steve.

Eating the First Tomato of the Season feels like a sacred act to me. This is a tomato that comes from a plant that has been loved, the plant comes from a seed that came from a plant that was loved. There is a lineage of love and labor and sunshine and rain and toil and dirt and hands and bugs that have all been blessings that over time have resulted in one perfect, bite-sized, red orb.

foodie food food food

Today has been a food food foodie kind of day. Food photos, food yummies in the belly, food memories.

Today I took a coffee break...I actually got up from my desk, walked to the coffee shop across the parking lot, and got a coffee. YUMmmm...coffee. And while I was walking across the parking lot, my mind bounced to thinking about my years-long ritual and happy associations with warm beverages.

And as I walked, I had a very strong memory flash of sitting in the kitchen in the house that I grew up in, my wooden chair pulled right up to the corner of the kitchen counter where the little TV sat against the wall. This was my little perch for my weekly watching of Star Trek: The Next Generation while I sipped lovely warm drinks. Back in those days, my preference was for General Foods International "Coffees" whose primary ingredients were sugar and non-dairy creamer. But oh, those little red and white tins with their lovely powdered "Suisse Mocha" and "French Vanilla Cafe". I loved their commercials with women friends hanging out, sipping from their mugs, and talking about their trip to Paris...remember that waiter?! Happy times...me, my mug 'o warm, tasty sugar drink, and the Starship Enterprise...boldly going where nobody else in my family was really interested in going (thus me in the kitchen while others were in the living room watching Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman or Dynasty or something).

Food, foodie, food, food. And tonight I did a bunch of prep so I can eat a super-faboo lunch tomorrow. I roasted beets, I de-stringed sugar snap peas, I made a gorgeous salad dressing with rice vinegar, coriander, sugar, salt, and olive oil. And photos. I am so in love with the beauty of food. I had to take pictures. The sugar snap peas, the onion, and the beet/carrot/pea salad were all just so gorgeous. I'm not thrilled with the lighting, but there are some photos I'm pleased with. A few thumbnails here, and the rest can be seen here.

And I think tomorrow, the first cherry tomato on the patio garden will be ready to be picked!

Food food foodie food.

Tenderness, Education, Adventure

This weekend I'm house/dog sitting for the Best Girl, and giving myself a little mini-retreat. Friday late afternoon I picked up a faboo take-n-bake pizza, grabbed my duffle bag, and went to the house to settle in and eat dinner. The Best Girl has a bowl near the front door filled with "Angel Cards". These little cards each have one word. The Best Girl has a daily ritual of picking 3 cards for inspiration for the day. When I lived with her for a few months, I got into the habit too, and so on Friday evening, I stood over the bowl with eyes closed and thought "What will this weekend hold for me?" I got Tenderness, Education, Adventure. Wahoo! Jackpot!

Friday evening I had a massage planned. I had a massage a month ago when I was in the fullness of the giant snots, so it was delightful to be able to breathe fully and not break out into coughing fits in the middle of this massage. The massages I get are 1.5-2 hours long, and are just amazing. For me, it is another way to let go, to let someone else take care of me, to watch my breath and my mind, and to be present in my body. And then I had an Embarrassing Experience. The Embarrassing Experience was being woken up and told that I had fallen asleep, and it was time to go. Oops! I was awake and relaxed for most of the massage...I was completely awake for the first half and I thought completely awake for the 2nd part after I flipped over. I guess not. I remember quite a lot of the second half, and I didn't think I was getting sleepy or falling asleep. But I did. Perhaps this was the Tenderness--I allowed myself to get vulnerable and open in the presence of someone I don't know that well.

Saturday morning, I woke up feeling so good, so refreshed. On the plan for Saturday was going to a class that I was so excited about. The class description "The season of surplus food will soon be upon us. Plan now! We’ll look at how to acquire, preserve, store and use an abundance of fruits, vegetables, culinary herbs and medicinals. In addition to freezing and canning, we’ll explore nine simple, timeless, low-energy methods to preserve the harvest. We’ll experiment in the kitchen, making pickled veggies and other delights." So I walked into this class thinking that freezing and canning would be discussed along with 9 other methods including learning how to make different pickles. That wasn't what this class was about. There was quite a bit of discussion about why freezing and canning are Evil, why plastics are all Evil, why microwaves are Evil, and why the new fancy metal water bottles that are all the rage in Boulder are...Evil. The class focused a lot of time on those topics. There was quite a bit of time talking about "Why Have a Pantry", "Where to put a pantry", how to turn your car into a food dehydrator, and root cellars. There was brief mention of preserving in oil, preserving in vinegar, and pickling with salt. We got a demo on how to make bread in a bread maker, how to use a pressure cooker, how to make kefir, how to make chevre (goat cheese), how to roast garlic. So I did learn some new things. Pressure Cookers are things that have fascinated and terrified me, so getting to watch a pressure cooker in action and get a full detailed explanation of what to expect and what it was doing while it was cooking was really useful. I also got a bunch of resource handouts on canning and freezing, one packet of enzymes for making chevre, a sample packet of xylitol, a lovely list of book ideas, and resources for more local producers of food. The class wasn't what I was expecting, but seeing the goat cheese being made got me again inspired for a summer of cheese, and I am likely to try to use my car as a food dehydrator at some point this summer...well, golly, it is all hot and dry in there, and it just sits in the sun all day while I'm at work.

So I've gotten Tenderness and Education so far. Later today I'm going to dim sum in Denver for a friend's birthday celebration. Perhaps this will be some adventure!

More recipes from OUT-TER-SPAAAACCEE

Ok space-cadetes and kittens, it's time for another outerspace food-o-rama. Yes, that's right. I said OUTERSPACE food-OH-rama!

1. The first outerspace food of the millennium is yogurt cheese. Yuumee. You take plain (not vanilla) yogurt, put it in a very fine mesh strainer (or in cheesecloth inside a strainer) set over a bowl in the fridge for 3 to 8 hours, and POOF, outerspace magic makes it into yogurt cheese. I have a fondness for plain yogurt mixed with chopped fresh mint and cilantro, then cheeseified. Mmm...herby yogurt cheese from outerspace!


2. Eggplant, Potato, Okra, Chickpea Stew from OUTERSPAAAACE (modified from Madhur Jaffrey's World Vegetarian)

1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 tsp ground cumin
2 whole dried red chilies
2 garlic cloves, peeled and lightly crushed
3/4 pound potatoes, cut into 1- to 1.5-inch chunks
3/4 pound eggplant cut into 1- to 1.5-inch chunks
approximately 20 small, whole okra pods
1/4 tsp turmeric
1 tsp ground coriander
1 6oz can of tomato paste
2 tsp salt
3/4 cup (3oz) finely minced fresh cilantro (leaves, stems, and roots)
2 cups drained cooked chickpeas (one 15oz can)
3 bitter melons cut into 1- to 1.5-inch chunks (see notes below)


Put the oil in a large, wide pot and set over hight heat. When hot, put in the cumin. Let it sizzle for 10 seconds. Put in the red chilies. As soon as they swell and darken, a matter of seconds, put in the garlic and potatoes. Stir and fry for a minute. Put in the eggplant chunks. Stir and fry for 2 minutes. Now add the turmeric and coriander. Stir once and put in the tomato paste, 4 cups of water, salt, cilantro, and chickpeas. Bring to a boil. Cover, turn the heat down to low, and cook gently for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, stir-fry the okra in a little oil over medium-high heat for 3-4 minutes until lightly browned, and add them to the stew and cook for 15-20 minutes more.

This was good served over basmati rice, and also with garlic naan. Made 4 Jennie-sized meals.

Notes: bitter melon is sold at my local Indian Grocery. They are small 6" green footballs with bumpy alligator skin. Once you cut the melon, you are supposed to salt the insides and then rinse them to get rid of some of the bitterness. I salted them and let them sit and then TOTALLY forgot to rinse them. The result was surprising bitter bites scattered throughout the stew. I didn't fry the bitter melon, and I wonder what it would have been like if I had remembered the rinsing step and also tried frying. That will be another outerspace cooking adventure. I left the seeds in 1.5 of the melons. The seeds are crunchy and tasty, but the texture is strange in this squishy outerspace stew. If adding bitter melon, I would only use 1 or 2 next time, not 3--too strong compared to the other veggies.


What other uberyums lurk in the dark expanse of the outerspace kitchen? Tune in next time!

the summer of cheese

I think this summer is going to be the Summer of Cheese. or maybe not. maybe it will just be the Summer of Living Alone which may involve a lot of cheese. Oh choices, choices. Maybe the Summer of Choices. Maybe I won't label the summer until it is in progress or nearly over. Maybe it will just be a summer. But it feels bigger than that.

Today was graduation, and from the nosebleed section in the balcony, I sat and watched my 26 students walk across the stage, and I clapped and cried from way up there. I was pretty grouchy today, and grouchy about the fact that faculty get a special section to sit in, but staff don't. Sad that some of those students I may never see again, and I didn't get to see them up close, one last time. Grouchy that I made a choice not to lie and say I was faculty just so I could get a close-up seat. It was a day of choices, it is a lifetime of choices. Every action I take is a choice and has a consequence.

I made a lot of choices this week, some I know had an impact on someone I work with, and likely resulted in some hurt feelings. Another resulted in buying dishes--starting to create my future solo household. And golly, am I excited about my dishes--they are SO pretty.

I still haven't bought tickets to the Ani concert that is happening in Aspen in mid-June. I would really like to go with someone--I think it would be fun to do. And honestly, I'm freaked out at the idea of going alone.

And I've been listening to an audio book, "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver, and I keep talking to my audio book "Yes! yes! YES!" And the book talked about making cheese, and I got so excited...I've made cheese before, and it is something that I want to do more of...could I buy a cheese making book? could I buy cultures and enzymes and make my own cheddar and mozzarella and brie? Really? Me?! YES! So maybe this will be the summer of cheese. And maybe not. It will certainly be the summer of making choices.

food is love

Food is important in my life. Food is not just about sustaining, but about nourishing. Food is about love. I enjoy cooking and eating. Sometimes, it feels burdensome to have to constantly provide for this human body. Most of the time, for me food is love in its most simple form—love of my body, love for others, love and gratitude for all the beings involved in getting seed to plant to harvest to market to kitchen to mouth.

Spring is here, and the weather is topsyturvy. today it snowed, hailed, rained, and the sun shone bright. Thinking back on it, it was a gift—a reminder of impermanence. What an amazing gift it is to have this precious existence, to be able to choose what food I put in my mouth, in my body.

For the last few weeks, my eating and sleeping patterns have been irregular. I get hungry at odd times, and often can't eat. I've had trouble falling asleep at night, and frequently fall asleep long after my usual prior bedtime.

So I'm making an effort to reclaim my body. To love myself. To feed myself and nourish myself.

Last weekend I made mayonnaise from scratch, from raw eggs. It has been so delicious and wonderful. On Wednesday, I had dinner with friends—I love my friends so very much. I made deviled eggs with my homemade mayonnaise, and made two kinds: one with regular yellow mustard, topped with paprika; one with horseradish mustard, topped with dill. I made my eggs with love in my heart, and I photographed my eggs because they are so beautiful. My beautiful deviled eggs, my love, me.

foodie confessions

so I'm sick (still). I didn't go in to work again today because I was feeling extra crappy this morning and had a fever. I spent another day in bed watching Buffy season 6 and Angel season 3 on my laptop. I'm enjoying the lounge, but also hating the amount of snot I'm working with.

I don't get sick often, though it seems this past year I've been knocked for a loop twice now (once was a stomach flu, and now this). I could have seen this coming. I've been pushing hard for weeks without a real break. Even this past weekend, which was my first weekend without work (sortof), involved non-relaxing airport travel and too much crazy partying and not enough sleep. I think my body finally said STOP. And so for 2 days now, I've (mostly) stopped.

I've been thinking about self-care, and what I have and have not been doing. Normally for me self-care involves comfort food, good food (goat cheeses, in-season fruit, fresh artisan bread, etc). Today, my cravings have been for a different sort of comfort food. And so, at 6pm, I gave in to my cravings and ventured to the grocery store. Here's what I bought: fresh ginger (for making ginger tea), campbell's vegetarian vegetable soup, kleenex brand tissues, 3 packages of Oriental flavor Maruchan Ramen noodles, and a box of fudgesicles. I know, I know, how much sodium and corn syrup can a body handle?! Well, this self-imposed guilt is there, though eating a second fudgesicle should help with that.

sniffle sniffle cough gak

it seems I have developed a cold. sigh. i'm sniffly, i'm achy, i'm periodically coughing, and my voice is all weird. sigh.

today was a weird day. I stayed home nearly all day laying in bed and watching Buffy and Angel episodes, and went to work at 5:30pm because there was a faculty meeting tonight. The meeting was one of the better ones I've been to, and was also one of the most painful--the ex was there, and he didn't say a word to me. the last time we spoke 2 weeks ago, i made it clear (i thought) that he needed to be the one to initiate contact/communication. And tonight he didn't say a word to me. I'm left sad and full of questions. I wonder if I should have done something different to make myself more approachable, or something. He said I was one of his best friends, and there's been no contact for 2 weeks. I'm sure he's hurting, too. I'm sure this was awkward for him, too. And here we are, left in radio silence. I'm sad for me and I'm sad for him. Being cut off in this way really sucks...it is like he died and I can't talk to him anymore.

Wow, this is a whiny blog.

Ok, so fun happy bloggy stuff. I think I've found a new wannabe hobby...bento creation. Holy cow, is this stuff cool and tasty and beautiful. In my sickly, sniffly state I've been spending a lot of quality time with the laptop. I was searching online for virtual pets (yes, I know, I'm a sicko). One thing led to another, and I found myself looking at blog upon blog about bentos. What is a bento? From justbento.com, "Bento, or obento to use the honorific term, is a meal served in a box. Beyond that basic definition though, just about anything goes as to what kind of box or container is used, as well as what is put inside that box,...The kind of bento that have garnered the most attention recently, especially outside of Japan are what are called ‘cute bento’ ‘art bento’ or ‘entertaining bento’ (entertain-bento), extremely elaborately decorated small works of art, as exemplified by the work presented on sites like e-obento (Japanese)." facefoodbento.blogspot.com

I've spent more hours than I'd like to admit oogling pictures of both cute and plain bento. It might be time for me to start getting creative in the kitchen (again).

Some sites to check out:
facefoodbento.blogspot.com
justbento.com
e-obento.com
veganlunchbox.blogspot.com